


The quiet in between blasts

by orphan_account



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Death is not ok, F/M, Fluff, Or Is It?, Rogue One Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 00:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13352484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In a concealed corner of his mind Cassian kept those rare moments, the gem stones of his memory. They came back to him on unexpected occasions and made him do things that were not necessary to endure the day, nor vital to the mission. They were all Cassian nonetheless.





	The quiet in between blasts

**Author's Note:**

> This is as fluffy as it gets in Cassian's head when we stick to the story and its not so fluffy ending.

The quiet in between blasts

Cassian was well acquainted with blasters. He knew their sounds, what they did to unprotected flesh. He could deconstruct them to simple parts of metal and built one from scratch if he had access to the components. They were puzzles. As an intelligence officer Cassian had grown to like enigmas in all shapes and sizes. He preferred solving them alone, in the dark of his bunk, in the middle of combat, or undercover in action. His most loyal friend was a droid that would share intelligence and cynical analysis, but that also shut the hell up whenever Cassian needed it to be quiet. He loved the silence, too.  
Above all, Cassian had learnt to trust his instincts, they had never let him down. Being still alive told him that. His actions were dedicated to the rebellion, his thoughts mostly concentrated on the mission. He was a tool, the perfect cog in a machine of war. Blaster shots and orders structured his day, when to hide and when to engage. In between only tiny moments were left. They were like postholes that showed Cassian what could have been had he not joined the monster that feasted on his lifetime. In a concealed corner of his mind Cassian kept those rare moments, the gem stones of his memory. They came back to him on unexpected occasions and made him do things that were not necessary to endure the day, nor vital to the mission. They were all Cassian nonetheless.

He leaned on his prison door. The mission had gone south the moment he and Jyn got into the kriff fire fight. Now Jyn was out of sight and he got stuck with two awkward creatures in a cell. They had helped him on the battlefield. One was blind and the other huge but silent. They made an odd couple that was hard to stop. He would prefer Jyn’s company all the same. The mission was to get away and find Galen Erso. His daughter could handle herself in combat as well. Cassian was impressed, however, not really surprised. She had been raised by the very same Saw Gerrera they got captured by if the intel was correct. Jyn had saved a little girl in the middle of the gunfight in town. Without concern of her own well-being she had run into hell for a creature she didn’t even know. It was reckless and foolish, and yet it reminded Cassian of the boy he had been once. He closed his eyes and let the thought linger in his mind. She had so much to learn before she could become as numb to the world as him. A part of him hoped it would never come to pass, that by some miracle her heroism wouldn’t be destroyed, neither by death, nor by loss. He wished that part of her would be spared somehow. She had made it this far though her life had been a chain of hardship and guilt. So maybe she was stronger than him, tough enough to pull through.  
Suddenly, the silence was broken by coughing in the neighbour’s cell. His thought vanished, and his intelligence officer instincts kicked back in.  
____  
After Eadu Cassian was pissed. He was on board with a group of people that might have a cause, yes. They most likely were willing to go great lengths for it as well, but they were amateurs all the same. He had behaved like one himself. His guard had slipped as he had been watching Jyn climb the platform. He couldn’t stop the bombing, so he’d gone up there himself. A suicide mission for no purpose other than to save a stubborn girl that wasn’t even part of the rebellion. Who, on top, still followed her own agenda. He hadn’t shot her father. If it had been the best for the rebellion, though, he had. There was no room for pathetic private ambitions. The whole crew had stared at him as if he were the bad guy here. He had still saved Jyn, right? Not even the blind monk seemed to get that their part in this galactical opera was limited and crucial at the same time. To hell with all of Chirrut’s kriff contemplation.  
His fingers around the controls tightened. He hadn’t opened his mouth since the confrontation in the cargo bay. “These control switches cannot be destroyed with single-handed efforts. The power one hand can inflict, does not reach the critical pressure level to break the metal core”, K2 offered. Cassian just sighed in response. To calm down he bit his tongue and left the cockpit. Lowering himself back to the cargo bay, where still all those spirits lurked that made him run in the first place, was a strange idea. As he reached the end of the ladder, he risked a quick look around. Baze and Chirrut sat in silence. They would not disturb his lone wolf manners. Bodhi Rook was back in pilot mode and stepped up to fill the seat Cassian had just abandoned. At last, he got a glimpse at Jyn. She had fallen asleep and the anger had worn off. She looked peaceful. This view hit him at the back of his mind unearthing an imagine Cassian had thought to be forgotten. “No, you can read a story to her tomorrow. Mummy is asleep already, but you can read to me instead, my boy.” The loving sound of his father’s voice echoed in his ears alone. Jyn looked nothing like Cassian's mother beside the dark hair. Still, they both seemed unable of covering themselves with a blanket for warmth. As his father was not around, Cassian took matters into his own hands. From the supply shelf he got a blanket, it wasn’t soft or fluffy, but it should do the trick. Carefully he wrapped the stiff material around her curled-up form. He didn’t want to wake her. Baze had an eye on him and in a way his companion was watching too, Cassian could tell. He was thankful they didn’t break the peace. Next to her stretcher, that had probably been attached to the wall to carry injured stormtroopers to safety, he knelt on the floor. Being a bed for Jyn was a much better purpose, Cassian decided. For a while, he explored the hills and valleys which carved her face and the slight movement that came with every breath she drew. Cassian almost smiled as he took in the picture. Finally, his own head lolled a little to the side with a peaceful expression on his features. For once his dreams were drunk with tranquillity.  
____  
They had done what they had come for. Cassian felt it in his gut, the transmission was a success, mission accomplished. He had climbed the tower for her despite the pain that spread from his limbs, and she had dragged him back down to the beach in return. They could not go any further. Now, they knelt side by side in the sand and watched the end of their lives approaching. The death wave would swallow them soon. Cassian thought for a split second of the little girl on Jedha, that Jyn had pulled out of the gunfire. She ended up dead. So would they, Cassian knew. He had covered Jyn on the ship that she wouldn’t catch a chill. Now the heat would gnaw the flesh of their bones in the blink of an eye. Still he was glad she was with him, and that he had wrapped that blanket around her. She deserved to be kept warm, wrapped in love.  
What could he say now to make it better? The last puzzle he would solve in his life, he figured. Her features were as stern and bright as ever and he smiled lightly. The horizon had painted itself in a million shades of red and yellow. He’d seen plenty worse. They both had. “Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.” In unison they stirred to meet half way in an embrace. They stood as firm as a stone pillar, bodies pressed together. Cassian sensed her breath on his cheeks and her chest widening and shrinking in his hands. She was warm, wrapped in love, he thought. It was ok. He wasn’t scared. They had done something good that would by far outweigh all their sins. But Jyn made him remember something much more valuable. The precious of the moment. In honour of that he cradled her in his arms and closed his eyes. He wasn’t waiting for death, instead he treasured what he got within arm’s reach.


End file.
